1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:07,883
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:54,513 --> 00:00:56,139
You're going
to have to go faster, Charlene.
3
00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:57,557
Okay. Okay.
Let me try it again.
4
00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:01,395
Hi. This is Sugarbaker's.
5
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,146
We're just sick
we missed your call.
6
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,983
And if you'd be wonderful
enough to leave your name, number,
7
00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:07,401
and any message
your heart desires,
8
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:08,568
we'll get right
back to you.
9
00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,572
Wasn't that longer
than 10 seconds?
10
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:12,656
Hmm?
11
00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:14,908
Oh, I'm sorry.
My mind just wandered.
12
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,744
I was trying to figure out
how the Landers sisters got into your body.
13
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Mary Jo! Come on,
be serious. I'm just trying to sound friendly.
14
00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:23,542
Oh, you do sound friendly.
15
00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,794
You also sound easy.
16
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:29,464
Yes, Charlene,
answering machines are to solicit business,
17
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:31,466
Not sex.
We just want a simple message.
18
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,468
I'm just trying
to give it a little oomph.
19
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,262
An oomph
is completely different from sex.
20
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,471
Anyway, if you don't
like it you try it.
21
00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,307
Okay. I'll be
happy to.
22
00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:40,475
Okay, you have ten...
23
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:42,811
Hello. This is a machine.
You know what to do.
24
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:43,812
...seconds.
25
00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,693
Come on, Julia!
That showed absolutely no creativity.
26
00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:51,361
I think mine was much better.
What do you think, Mary Jo?
27
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:53,280
Oh, I don't know.
I think that I would hope
28
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,032
for a compromise
somewhere between
29
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,908
Marilyn Monroe
and Clint Eastwood.
30
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,201
Well, here.
You try it.
31
00:01:58,201 --> 00:02:00,370
Oh, no. Not me. No.
32
00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:01,913
I always sound
like a duck on those.
33
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,916
It's a traumatic experience
for me just ordering food
34
00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:06,376
for my kids
at the Jack in the Box.
35
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,718
CHARLENE:
Well, good morning, Suzanne.
36
00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:16,595
What's good
about it?
37
00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:18,764
It's just another morning
like yesterday morning
38
00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:20,432
and the morning
before that.
39
00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:21,892
Take a bath,
do your nails,
40
00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:23,101
watch Wheel of Fortune,
41
00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:24,269
eat candy.
42
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,064
I know what you mean.
43
00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:28,440
It's a grind, isn't it?
44
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,734
It got so bad,
this morning I decided to go
45
00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:32,277
to my health club.
46
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,570
Do you know, Julia,
you ought to join.
47
00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:35,739
They got a special
introductory offer,
48
00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:37,115
and you get your own
private trainer
49
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,909
and free sauna
and massage for a year.
50
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:41,203
I don't think so.
I hate saunas.
51
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:43,664
I especially
hate getting naked
52
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,707
and sitting around
looking at all that stuff
53
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:46,750
that grows on people.
54
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:50,837
Well, I'm glad to see
you're your usual negative self today.
55
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,006
Now I don't feel bad
that the meeting
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00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,424
with Madeleine Adams
is off.
57
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,927
What do you mean
the meeting is off?
58
00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:59,638
Madeleine Adams
is a very important client.
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00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:01,473
I know.
I couldn't help myself.
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00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,141
I went to her
birthday party last night,
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00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:04,684
and you know
how Madeleine is.
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00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,395
She got all hot
and bothered
63
00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:08,438
just because all the men got hot
and bothered over me.
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00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,190
You mean,
Madeleine canceled us
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00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,109
'cause you hogged
all the men at her party?
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00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:15,821
I swear on a Bible,
someone pushed Ansel and me into that pool.
67
00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:17,114
Who is Ansel?
68
00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:18,865
Madeleine's husband.
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00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,283
The only reason
we only stayed in
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00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,285
was because
the water was so warm.
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00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,995
Suzanne!
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00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:25,497
How could you?
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00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:28,333
I didn't do anything
except be myself.
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00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:29,709
I was bored.
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00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,586
You don't know
how hard it is
76
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:33,505
to be on the social
merry-go-round.
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00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:34,923
Look at this.
It never ends.
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00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:38,635
"Dinner, lunch, lunch,
dinner, lunch, lunch,"
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00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:39,970
"Brunch, lunch."
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00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:43,432
I'd like to do more
for Sugarbaker's than just eat.
81
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:44,683
Well, I say,
82
00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:46,643
if the bib fits...
83
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:50,105
For your information,
Julia, I do not enjoy eating all that much.
84
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,732
I take all these
lunches and brunches to bring in business.
85
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:55,819
Well, there's nothing wrong
with enjoying eating, Suzanne.
86
00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:57,070
I ate a pie
last night.
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00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,531
You're kidding.
88
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:00,657
A whole pie?
89
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:02,701
Yeah.
90
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:05,787
What's wrong with that?
91
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,456
Everybody does it
once in a while.
92
00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:08,790
They just
don't admit it.
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00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,835
That's why
I'm fasting on that water.
94
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,545
I saw in Lifestyles
of the Rich and Famous
95
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,589
Lesley Ann Warren
drinks six of those bottles every day
96
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,840
and she looks
12 years old.
97
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,343
You always
do this, Charlene
98
00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:22,596
You always tell some
inconsequential story
99
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,431
just when I'm about
to say something important.
100
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,725
It wasn't inconsequential.
It was a health tip.
101
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,352
Anyway, what
I'm upset about is...
102
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:32,105
Somebody said something
at the party last night
103
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,357
that made me think,
people might have the impression
104
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:36,401
I don't know anything
about the decorating business
105
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,778
and that I'm just
a bimbo front person for Sugarbakers.
106
00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:41,114
What did they say?
107
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:44,576
They said I don't
know anything about the decorating business.
108
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:47,913
I'm just a bimbo
front person for Sugarbakers.
109
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:50,582
Who said it?
110
00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:51,625
Madeleine Adams.
111
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:55,420
The truth is, I'm not taken
seriously around here,
112
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,798
and I am
an equal partner in Sugarbakers
113
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,174
I think that should
count for something.
114
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,301
It does. Your name
is on the door.
115
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,886
That is not enough.
116
00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:05,555
And I am sick and tired
of just being known
117
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:06,806
as the good-looking
one around here.
118
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,308
I mean
I want to be appreciated
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00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,851
for my abilities
like all of you.
120
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:13,188
Suzanne, I don't know
why you can't be happy with what you do.
121
00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:16,233
I mean, I'm not a decorator,
but I take pride in being the office manager.
122
00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,652
There. That's exactly
my point.
123
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,363
Even you , Charlene,
have a highfalutin title.
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00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:23,657
I'm the only one around here
who doesn't have a position.
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00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,367
How about first clarinet?
126
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,578
It's just
a little joke.
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00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,539
Suzanne,
I don't mean to seem unkind,
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00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:34,084
but being a decorator
is just plain, old-fashioned hard work.
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00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,294
And so far,
the hardest work you've ever known
130
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:39,464
is trying to blow-dry
your hair exactly the way your hairdresser does it.
131
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,633
Now, that
is not true.
132
00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:44,219
Anyway,
133
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,263
I know I don't have
any professional training,
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00:05:46,263 --> 00:05:48,265
but everybody has
to start somewhere.
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00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:50,809
And I'm willing
to begin on a trial basis.
136
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:53,144
What does that mean?
It means I try it.
137
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:54,896
If I don't like it,
I don't do it anymore.
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00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:01,611
What do you mean,
"Even Charlene has a title?"
139
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,657
Anthony, where
have you been?
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00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,325
I promised Wilma Hobbs
that you'd be out there
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00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:09,703
with that chaise lounge
this morning and it isn't here.
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00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,329
If you're going
to make deliveries for Sugarbaker's,
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00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,957
you just can't come
waltzing in here at 10:30!
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00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,293
Can you?
145
00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,420
Mary Jo...
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00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:20,589
...it is Thursday.
147
00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:22,257
Anthony meets
with his parole officer.
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00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:23,925
Oh!
149
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,802
Oh, I forgot.
I'm so sorry.
150
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:28,805
Yes. Well, I'm sure
you would have no way of knowing
151
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:31,057
what a traumatic
experience that is for me.
152
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,476
I mean,
it is upsetting enough to be reminded
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00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:35,478
of my unfortunate
incarceration,
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00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,397
but then to have to
come in here and endure
155
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,816
a personal attack
on my punctuality...
156
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:41,067
I'm so sorry.
157
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,986
I--I wasn't thinking.
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00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:44,321
Yeah.
159
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:46,781
Well, I'm tired of going
to my parole officer's
160
00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:48,158
all the time, anyway.
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00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:50,368
I mean,
he always asks me,
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00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:54,122
"Oh. How are you doing
on your new job, Anthony?"
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00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:58,209
And I say to him,
"Well, Mr. Farber, I'm hanging drapes."
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00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:00,795
"I'm working
with chintz and valances"
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00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:02,380
"and Austrian puffs."
166
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:03,673
And the dude
just looks at me
167
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,384
like he does not know
what I'm talking about.
168
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:09,763
I mean, the man
is just so uncouth.
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00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:13,099
Excuse me, but I don't have
all morning to sit around here
170
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,517
listening
to ex-convict stories.
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00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:17,270
Are you all going to let me
be a decorator or not?
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00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,605
Oh, all right.
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00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,065
Suzanne, you have
money invested here.
174
00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:21,650
I don't know how
we can stop you.
175
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,985
If this is really
what you want, just jump right in.
176
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:27,197
In fact, take the next job
that comes through that door.
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00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:29,074
Do you mean it?
Absolutely.
178
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:30,325
Julia!
Julia!
179
00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:31,868
Don't worry.
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00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,328
She'll lose interest.
181
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:34,704
We're talking
about a person
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00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:37,374
who never finished
anything in her life.
183
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:38,833
Even when
she was little,
184
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:41,211
her coloring books
only had the hair filled in.
185
00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:42,545
You just wait.
186
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,172
You're going to have
to eat those words, Julia.
187
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:45,548
Hey, you're going
to be a decorator?
188
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:46,633
That's right.
189
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:47,717
She might be good.
190
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:49,844
I know it's none
of my business,
191
00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:51,346
but it's been
my experience
192
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:53,264
that you can never
tell about people.
193
00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:55,642
I mean,
whether they're going to do good or do bad.
194
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:59,896
I mean, I had three
of the sorriest cell mates you have ever seen.
195
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:01,940
And do you know,
all three of those dudes
196
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,358
were named
after a president.
197
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:05,944
You never know,
do you?
198
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:08,571
That's right.
I'll be taking that out to Miss Hobbs right now.
199
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,490
Thank you
so much, Anthony.
200
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:13,660
You know, just remember,
the next person through that door is mine.
201
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,914
Well,
202
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:21,960
there they are,
the eight finest breasts in Georgia.
203
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,296
Oh, it's only Boyd.
204
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:29,509
Now, is that any way
to talk to a raving heterosexual?
205
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,386
We weren't expecting
other decorators.
206
00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:32,846
Especially one
that's the bearer
207
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,514
of such a tasty
bit of news.
208
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,308
What news?
Oh, just that Sugarbaker's been selected
209
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:39,060
along with
seven other design firms
210
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:42,480
to decorate a room
in Design House '86.
211
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:43,565
Design House?
212
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:45,650
We've been chosen?
Are you serious?
213
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:46,985
Well, kiss me
and find out.
214
00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:48,028
I'll take your word.
215
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,321
This is just wonderful!
216
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:53,116
We never expected
to get to Design House this soon!
217
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,492
I don't
believe it!
218
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:57,662
Boyd, are you sure
you're not just playing
219
00:08:57,662 --> 00:09:00,790
some cruel
interior-designer joke?
220
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,168
Mary Jo, I promise.
221
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,587
I would never joke
about anything like this.
222
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:08,798
Well, maybe I would,
but I'm not.
223
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,092
So, congratulations.
Here is the key.
224
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:14,179
I'll just be taking that,
thank you very much.
225
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:16,097
Julia said
the next job was my job.
226
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:17,599
Your job?
227
00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:20,101
Speaking of cruel
interior-designer jokes...
228
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,021
SUZANNE: Can you believe it?
229
00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:26,566
Design house '86,
my very first job as a decorator.
230
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,777
You'll be doing
the master bedroom.
231
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:31,362
Well, at least
it's her field of expertise.
232
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,574
Suzanne,
we have to talk.
233
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,868
Oh, no, Julia,
you said the next job was my job.
234
00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,411
Now, don't be
an Indian giver.
235
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:41,122
Why don't we try
to discuss this like mature adults?
236
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:44,751
No. Design House
is all mine and I got it fair and square.
237
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,169
Jack, jack,
no trade back.
238
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:48,880
Now, what did you
want to say?
239
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,633
Just that you
make me sick.
240
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:54,886
Julia, let's not
be petty.
241
00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:58,598
After all,
it was your idea.
242
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,308
Congratulations,
Suzanne.
243
00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:02,143
Yeah, ditto.
244
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:03,728
Well, I've got to run.
245
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:05,855
I've all those
other firms to notify.
246
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:08,191
Only wanted to
stop by here first
247
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:09,859
because y'all
truly are the...
248
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:12,320
ALL: Eight
finest breasts in Georgia.
249
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:16,533
Well, at least
in the design business.
250
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:17,951
Say, Boyd.
What?
251
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,828
Get out.
Right.
252
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,206
Oh, I almost forgot.
253
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:25,166
Every firm
is responsible
254
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,835
for babysitting
Design House,
255
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:29,838
and I'm not sure,
but I believe you guys have every Monday.
256
00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:31,047
Any problem
with that?
257
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:32,507
You mean
actually sleep there?
258
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:33,842
Yeah.
259
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:35,969
You know,
just keep an eye on everything.
260
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,887
It's no problem.
I can handle it.
261
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:38,930
Yeah.
262
00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:40,140
[CHUCKLING]
263
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:43,017
Well, I'll leave you all
to your champagne.
264
00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:47,772
Forget champagne.
265
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,774
This calls
for whiskey.
266
00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:55,947
ON TV: Turn right,
hold your head all the way back.
267
00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,532
Open your mouth.
268
00:10:57,532 --> 00:10:59,617
Relax your chin.
269
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:02,787
Now say. "Ah. Oh."
270
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,164
Good morning.
271
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,832
Ah. Oh.
272
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,083
Close enough.
273
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,084
Oh, I'm sorry.
274
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,546
I'm watching that woman
who wrote that book on nonsurgical face-lifts.
275
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:12,839
Charlene, where's Anthony?
276
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,341
Oh, he went over
to the Design House with that new ottoman.
277
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:18,928
Oh, shoot. We wanted
to throw those pillows on the back of the truck, too.
278
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:22,640
Well, I called Suzanne,
but there wasn't an answer.
279
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,976
Oh, yeah. That's right.
Yesterday was Monday.
280
00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:27,395
Well, she's probably
exhausted, you know.
281
00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,898
Up all night
patrolling the grounds.
282
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,025
You know,
I never thought I'd see the day
283
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,902
when she would take on
this kind of responsibility.
284
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,029
I know.
You know something else?
285
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:38,823
It was pretty darn
nice of her to let us
286
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:41,367
help with the decorating.
She didn't have to do that, you know.
287
00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:44,662
Maybe we've been
too hard on her.
288
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:47,457
Maybe, but it's not
a happy thought.
289
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:49,918
Come here. Look.
There's so much you ought to see
290
00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:51,419
these facial exercises.
291
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:53,046
Do you think
there's any way these could work?
292
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,839
No.
MARY JO: Mm-mmm.
293
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:57,175
When the time comes,
I'm going to have something done.
294
00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,885
No way am I going
to end up sitting in a restaurant
295
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,428
with my neck
hanging in my soup.
296
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:03,890
You know,
I've often wondered
297
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,684
why we can't
continuously show ourselves
298
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:08,686
in the most
flattering light,
299
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:10,605
You know, the way
we light a room.
300
00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:11,940
How would you do that?
301
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,317
Well, you'd have
to wear a harness
302
00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:17,445
With a big spotlight
in the back and candles in the front.
303
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:20,365
[BEEPING ON TV]
You've given this a lot of thought, haven't you?
304
00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:21,407
[SHUSHING]
305
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:22,742
Be quiet. Listen.
306
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,702
This is Peter Dunlap,
live from the site
307
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:26,120
of this morning's
devastating fire
308
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,122
that destroyed
Design House '86.
309
00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:29,916
Suzanne.
310
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,126
According
to chief inspector Bob Badoff,
311
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:34,045
there were no injuries
or fatalities.
312
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:35,672
And investigators
are now on the scene
313
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,590
trying to determine
the cause of the blaze.
314
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:38,591
Oh!
315
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:45,473
I just can't believe it.
316
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:48,184
Our very first chance
at decorating at Design House,
317
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:49,602
and we burn it
to the ground.
318
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,189
We're never going to work again.
319
00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:55,483
You know what they're
going to say about us?
320
00:12:55,775 --> 00:13:00,238
They're going to say
that we're dangerous.
321
00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:04,784
Julia, do you think that was
actually a man under that blanket with her?
322
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,077
Of course, it was a man.
323
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,579
It had on a man's
suit and pants.
324
00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:10,415
It walked like a man,
it looked like a man.
325
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:13,209
Anyway, Suzanne doesn't know
any women but us.
326
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:16,087
I can't believe it,
327
00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:17,672
the whole building gone,
328
00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:19,674
a smoking pile of rubble.
329
00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:21,009
What do you think they
were doing in there?
330
00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:22,427
I don't know, but obviously,
331
00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,721
it was a little more than
rubbing two sticks together.
332
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:27,015
Well, it's a miracle
Suzanne wasn't hurt.
333
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:29,475
Don't you worry.
I will rectify that.
334
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,978
Now, Julia, wait a minute,
we don't have all the facts.
335
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,563
You don't know for sure
that it was her fault.
336
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:36,524
It has been my experience
that wherever disaster strikes,
337
00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:38,860
Suzanne cannot be far behind.
338
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:40,903
She has always been
the kind of person
339
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:43,364
who wrecks cars,
burns holes in the carpeting,
340
00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:45,074
writes phone
messages on furniture.
341
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:46,993
If she had been
on the Hindenburg,
342
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,786
she would've been
smoking cigarettes.
343
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:52,498
Anthony,
thank goodness you're here.
344
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:53,750
We have something
to tell you.
345
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,793
Design House
is gone.
346
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,253
We know.
We heard it on the news.
347
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:59,380
Did they let you
actually drive right up to it?
348
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,049
I don't think
you all understand.
349
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:02,842
There is no
it anymore.
350
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,469
The sucker
is gone.
351
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:07,221
G-O-N-E '86,
over and out.
352
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,723
Here's your
ottoman back.
353
00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:10,266
Did you talk
to the police?
354
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,226
No. I don't much
like hanging around
355
00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:14,395
where stuff
has just disappeared.
356
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:15,438
Did you see Suzanne?
357
00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:17,315
Uh-uh. I was
moving too fast.
358
00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:19,108
I'll just be
taking this back to the storeroom.
359
00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:22,361
Can you imagine
how horribly humiliating
360
00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:24,363
to be caught on TV
without lip gloss?
361
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:27,200
You know, Julia,
362
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,660
I bet,
in her own way,
363
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:32,288
Suzanne feels
even worse than we do.
364
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,874
No, she doesn't.
365
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,085
She'll have some
cock-and-bull explanation
366
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:40,213
for the whole thing
And then she'll fly off to Barbados.
367
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,090
And in a few weeks,
we'll get one of those,
368
00:14:42,757 --> 00:14:45,009
"Hope you're not
still mad at me" card
369
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,803
with a happy face
stuck on the front!
370
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:50,056
Now, Julia,
I know Suzanne can be thoughtless,
371
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,974
but I just
don't believe that.
372
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:55,478
Then you should talk
to Teddy Machenson.
373
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:57,605
Who is Teddy Machenson?
374
00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,816
A friend of mother's.
375
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:02,735
Suzanne backed over
his dog at a party
376
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:06,280
and sent him
an autographed picture of herself the next day.
377
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:09,450
Julia, you're
making that up.
378
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,702
Trust me when
I tell you that this is how she operates.
379
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:14,497
I mean, she has been
my sister for 30 years.
380
00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:16,332
Twenty-nine!
381
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,085
Oh, I know what
you're thinking and I don't blame you.
382
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,920
Believe me, there isn't
a name you could call me
383
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,088
I haven't already
called myself.
384
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:24,340
How about dog face?
Julia.
385
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,884
All right, I'll hold off
until I ask this one question.
386
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:27,885
Are you all right?
387
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:29,595
I think so.
I'm glad...
388
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:30,805
...dog face.
389
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,266
Go ahead.
Abuse me. Punish me.
390
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,267
I don't care.
391
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:35,893
Suzanne, what happened?
392
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:38,312
I don't want
to talk about it.
393
00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:40,064
I'll just be
cleaning out my desk.
394
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,816
You don't
have a desk.
395
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,443
Good! I didn't
deserve one.
396
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:46,445
All I want now
is just to fade away
397
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,656
and become
completely incognito.
398
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:52,326
Then, you'll have
to get rid of the bedspread.
399
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:54,287
I can't believe
you were on the news.
400
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,955
Did you know
what they were filming you for?
401
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,124
No. I thought
those guys with the cameras
402
00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,750
were Japanese tourists.
403
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:03,379
You don't talk
like yourself anymore.
404
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,340
Being in a fire
has made you clever.
405
00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:10,469
Oh, now, don't try
cheering me up with compliments.
406
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:13,472
I know who I am.
I know what I did.
407
00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:15,099
And now,
I deserve to die.
408
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:16,934
How'd my hair look?
409
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,352
Oh, not that bad.
410
00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:19,687
I mean, it was
a little messed up in the back.
411
00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:21,063
Your profile
looked great.
412
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:22,648
I don't believe this!
413
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:25,693
Suzanne, you have just
single-handedly
414
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:27,236
destroyed Design House,
415
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:29,488
not to mention
Sugarbaker's reputation!
416
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:31,616
And I think we deserve
a little explanation.
417
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:34,744
Well, there's not
much to tell, actually, it's all my fault.
418
00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:36,579
See, I was trying
to light a fire in the fireplace.
419
00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:38,247
But I didn't
think it took. But it must have.
420
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,166
Because, I dozed off,
and next thing I knew,
421
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,584
it was just like
a house afire.
422
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:47,048
She was never
especially good with similes.
423
00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:50,092
Suzanne, who was
that man with you under the blanket?
424
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:51,594
Clinton Summers.
425
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,262
But he had
nothing to do with it.
426
00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:56,182
I only called him
because I was scared there all by myself.
427
00:16:57,558 --> 00:17:00,228
He was asleep
in the designer kitchen when it happened.
428
00:17:00,728 --> 00:17:02,104
ALL: Mm.
429
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:03,773
Oh, I don't care if you
believe me or not.
430
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,525
Anyway, you'll have
my resignation
431
00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:08,903
just as soon
as I can borrow an electric typewriter.
432
00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:11,697
Oh, don't be silly,
Suzanne.
433
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:12,782
You're not
going to quit.
434
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,867
Anyway, we need
your money.
435
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,370
What do I care
about money? I'll be in prison.
436
00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:19,538
What do you mean,
prison?
437
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:22,250
Did the police
question you?
438
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:24,252
Of course,
they questioned me!
439
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:26,128
They're going
to prove negligence.
440
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:28,589
They'll arrest me
and take me off to one of those institutions
441
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,007
where everything you wear
is gray!
442
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,386
I don't look good in gray!
443
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:36,180
Oh, Suzanne, that's
not going to happen.
444
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:37,682
You think I will
look good in gray?
445
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:41,102
Suzanne could be right.
I mean if they can prove negligence,
446
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,020
there's no telling what kind
of trouble she could be in.
447
00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:45,564
Well, not that you couldn't
talk them into letting you
448
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,191
dye your uniform
any color you want.
449
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,653
Hey. How's it going?
450
00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:51,946
What you been up to?
451
00:17:51,946 --> 00:17:53,656
Seen any
good movies lately?
452
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:55,908
That's real funny,
Anthony.
453
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,326
Wait. I have
to talk to you.
454
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:59,203
I don't like
the sound of that.
455
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,122
You've been
in prison, right?
456
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:03,457
I especially don't like
the sound of that.
457
00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:06,335
Well, I was wondering,
what would you think about saying
458
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:08,713
that you slept
at Design House last night?
459
00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,590
See, it wouldn't be
quite so bad if you went to prison
460
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:11,924
because you've
already been there before.
461
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,509
Nobody would think
anything about it.
462
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,594
I could send you
a little money every month
463
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,680
and then before
you know it, you'd be out on good behavior.
464
00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:21,058
I don't think so,
but thank you for thinking of me.
465
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:29,650
What am I going to do?
466
00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:33,654
What am I going to do?
This isn't funny anymore.
467
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:35,114
I'm in serious trouble.
468
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,372
I don't know about you all
but I can't bear to see her like this.
469
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:44,707
I mean, she's all...
470
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,043
...humble.
471
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:51,464
It's like watching
Howard Cosell cry.
472
00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:54,759
Oh, I can't stand it.
473
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:56,135
Suzanne,
474
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,345
if it'll make you
feel any better,
475
00:18:57,345 --> 00:18:58,512
I'll tell everybody
I was there, too.
476
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:01,682
Well, what good
would that do?
477
00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:04,101
I don't know, but,
it might confuse them.
478
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:05,895
I mean it could have
just as easily happened to me.
479
00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:07,772
Oh, Charlene,
that is ridiculous.
480
00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:10,107
You're the most efficient,
well-organized,
481
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:11,650
responsible person
on earth.
482
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:13,986
I know, Julia, but...
483
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,572
I mean I--I might have
caused sparks, you know,
484
00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:18,866
by walking across
the carpeting real fast,
485
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:20,326
Or I might have
had a stroke
486
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,036
and and fallen
and hit my head on a pilot light.
487
00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:24,580
Caught my hair on fire,
Causing me to run from room to room.
488
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,332
Trying to put
myself out.
489
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:27,750
Thank you, Charlene.
490
00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:30,294
Oh, for heaven's sake.
491
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:31,879
I'll say I was there, too.
492
00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:33,547
That will really
confuse them.
493
00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:37,676
I think you all
are overestimating this confusion thing.
494
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,929
They're not going
to be confused.
495
00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:42,098
They'll just put
all three of you in jail.
496
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,266
Oh,, Julia,
when we started this business,
497
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:46,310
we said it was
one for all and all for one.
498
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:48,521
Yeah, that's right.
499
00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:51,315
And now,
the chips are down.
500
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:52,692
This is a test
501
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:55,986
of our--our
determination and strength,
502
00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:57,405
Our unity.
503
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:00,783
Or maybe not.
504
00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:04,203
I wasn't there,
and I'm not going to say I was.
505
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,502
Oh, all right,
506
00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:14,130
but I think
it's absolutely idiotic.
507
00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:18,008
Oh, you all are
the best friends a girl ever had.
508
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:19,677
Isn't this sweet?
509
00:20:19,677 --> 00:20:20,845
I feel like we're
on the last episode
510
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:22,304
of The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
511
00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:29,937
Room for one more?
512
00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:32,565
Now, Boyd,
if you came to point a finger,
513
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:33,858
you're going
to have to use four.
514
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,943
That's right.
We're all guilty.
515
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:39,613
United we stand.
Divided we fall. Oh, get off of it.
516
00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:43,409
Everybody in Georgia knows
Suzanne was sitting in Design House last night.
517
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,786
Oh, yeah?
Prove it!
518
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:49,957
All right, now, look,
what we want to say
519
00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:53,878
is that no matter who was
actually on the premises last night,
520
00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:56,589
it was Sugarbaker's
responsibility, and we're taking it.
521
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:57,923
All four of us,
not just one.
522
00:20:58,549 --> 00:21:01,844
I just came by to tell you
the cause of the fire was inadequate wiring.
523
00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:04,180
It was nobody's fault.
Are you sure?
524
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:06,682
I just met with the
Deputy fire inspector.
525
00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:08,726
Oh, that is just...
526
00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:11,312
That's so wonderful.
I mean, I can't tell you what a wreck I was.
527
00:21:11,312 --> 00:21:12,688
I thought it might have
been that swimming suit
528
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:14,482
that I put in the oven
to dry out, you know.
529
00:21:14,482 --> 00:21:16,150
Or it could have been
when Clinton and I were on the sun porch,
530
00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:18,027
roasting marshmallows
With those little big cigarette lighters.
531
00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:20,654
Suzanne,
be quiet.
532
00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:25,117
It's okay, they know
about the marshmallows.
533
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,660
It was the wiring.
534
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:30,456
But the really good news
is we were very heavily insured.
535
00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:34,001
Well, that is
wonderful news, Boyd.
536
00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:36,045
I feel like we should
all join hands and sing
537
00:21:36,045 --> 00:21:37,671
a chorus of
We are the World.
538
00:21:39,340 --> 00:21:42,009
Suzanne, were you really
toasting marshmallows
539
00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:43,552
With a cigarette lighter?
540
00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:45,554
Well, yeah.
I told you that.
541
00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:47,556
I couldn't get
the fireplace to work. What's wrong with that?
542
00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:49,600
Suzanne,
if my children had done that,
543
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,435
why they'd be
grounded for a week.
544
00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:55,064
Yes. Well, don't worry.
Suzanne will be grounded a lot longer than that.
545
00:21:55,064 --> 00:21:57,399
Oh, you don't have
to say anything, Julia.
546
00:21:57,399 --> 00:21:59,401
I don't want to be
a decorator anymore.
547
00:22:02,196 --> 00:22:04,740
You don't?
No. You all were right.
548
00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:06,992
I'm not the sort of person
who is cut out for one of those jobs
549
00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:08,577
where you can't
sleep till noon.
550
00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:11,330
Anyway, I realize now
that lunch is my forte,
551
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,915
it's what I do best.
552
00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:14,458
Some of us were born
to be out front.
553
00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:17,253
some of us were born
to be behind the scenes.
554
00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:19,713
Why is it that
all of a sudden
555
00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:22,299
I feel like
the Hunchback of Notre Dame?
556
00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:26,178
I happened to be
one of those out-front people.
557
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:29,682
So, now I'm going to go home,
take a nice hot bubble bath.
558
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:32,601
Then-Then after Wheel of Fortune
is over, I'm going to work on my date book.
559
00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:34,478
I've got a better idea.
560
00:22:34,478 --> 00:22:36,772
Why don't I take
all of you out to lunch today?
561
00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:39,650
Um, then we could talk
about my new idea,
562
00:22:39,650 --> 00:22:41,193
Design Armory.
563
00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:43,904
It's not quite the same,
but at least it's fireproof.
564
00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:45,948
That sounds like fun.
565
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:48,242
Oh, now, hey.
Wait a second here.
566
00:22:48,242 --> 00:22:50,369
New deal is
I stay off of your turf.
567
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:51,745
You stay off
of mine.
568
00:22:51,745 --> 00:22:53,539
Lunch is my job.
569
00:22:55,457 --> 00:22:57,960
Okay, Boyd, how about
1 o'clock, Chez Nous?
570
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,837
Well, fine.
I was just hoping
571
00:22:59,837 --> 00:23:00,838
to have lunch
with the eight... I know
572
00:23:00,838 --> 00:23:03,549
what you were hoping, Boyd.
573
00:23:03,549 --> 00:23:06,343
But you're just
going to have to settle for the top two.
574
00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:14,351
[♪♪♪]
575
00:23:20,608 --> 00:23:22,484
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]